it's the only splash of colour in a greyscale world

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
- Isiah 40: 29-31

PROFILE

grace.

aka gracey
Christian!
241093
rgs
twotenner '07
twelver '06
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buckle cad
CAPper 2007 <3

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<333

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CREDITS

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This thing is so cheater...it started counting at 238...

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Wednesday, 24 October 2007

I've been reading up on urbandictionary.com (a website where users can submit definitions of words, so there are a lot of different points of view). It's very...educational.

I'm not an emo kid who cuts herself and has a black floppy fringe and tight jeans.

But I guess I'm emo in another sense, the internal sense.

Two definitions that struck me:

" "Emo Kids" are, to put it bluntly, constantly in the pursuit of the complete self-obliteration of any sort of perspective. Evident from the idolized paragons of emo culture(songs, that is) Emo kids dwell incessantly upon their emotions, usually of love, regret, heartbreak, and/or internal torment. To be frank, it seems that they simply cannot concentrate on anything other than themselves, while failing to realize that their dilemmas are not, in fact, very unique, and that everyone else in the world learns to deal with life...without forcing themselves to conform to some sickening subculture that only breeds self-imposed misery. "

" A term teens give to themselves when they feel that life has become pointless. What they don't realize is that when they say "No one understands me" there are hundreds of normal people that don't like life as much as the "emo" people do, and they just deal with it. Emo people are just hungry for attention, and they believe that this attention will get them somewhere. The irony is, you'd think that given how much they hate life, you never see an emo person actually kill themselves and get rid of it, rather, they continue posing and getting all the attention they can. "

That's what I've been doing, I think.

I lost my confidence/optimism but instead of bouncing back up I just let myself keep freefalling, didn't open my parachute. I'm just lucky I never hit terminal velocity.

There's so many people around me, trying to lift me up, but they can't help me if I don't help myself.

Neither can God.

I need to get back on my feet. Yeah, today's the day I leave it all behind. I've been an idiot since the _____ thing and other stuff happened but for the next year of my life...I'm gonna try and be a better person.

God, give me strength to carry it through.

I really really appreciate everything everyone's done for me. Thank you. Thank you so much.

And yes, I do read my tagboard, I just can't be bothered to reply (: Thanks for the tags. Reading them brings me joy.

Labels: emo, self, thoughtful

wings to the wind! at 9:20 pm